Something that I have always struggled with is am I worthy…
Impostor syndrome is a real thing. That constant feeling that any moment now someone will discover i am a fraud and that i have no idea what i am doing or talking about, it adds to the feeling of unworthiness. Couple that with comparitonitis (yup its a real thing) and a world where the pics on social media are being treated as the norm and you will never feel good enough.
I started my ‘blogging’ journey about 2 years ago and like many, I wasn’t committed and I didn’t create content consistently because I felt unworthy. Like I was a fraud and people wouldn’t want to listen to what I say, who am I to be calling myself a blogger or infuencer even. So I joke and call myself ‘not your typical blogger’ and an ‘accidental influencer’ maybe that’s because I still don’t feel worthy?
You see I don’t fit the mould, I’m not your ‘Typical Blogger’ I’m the wrong side of 35, a dog mom, not a size 0 and I don’t have the look of most bloggers and I spend most weekends at home with my dog. I eat too much pizza and I don’t work out much… OK at all lately. Not very exciting right… what do I have to blog about?
There is such a huge focus on fitting into what the social media image of perfection is. The high glamour make up, the designer handbags and driving the right car all being portrayed with highly edited pictures, the size 0 body, the perfect lifestyle and always at the latest brunch club or holidaying in Bali. Even down to having the on trend dog, but that’s not authentic… think about how much time and energy you are spending trying to be something you aren’t. How much money you are spending trying to fit the mould. How much time especially you are spending editing the heck out of your pictures in FaceTune and slimming your body down, erasing that slight imperfection that is so perfectly imperfect about it.
Don’t get me wrong, I add a filter to my pictures with VSCO so there is flow and consistency in the colouring of my feed however I do not edit my image or my body, 1 I dont have the patience and 2 I am what I am.
For those wondering this is the filter combo I use, and the app is VSCO your can download it from the app store.
There is of course a feeling of being passed off by brands you would love to work with because you don’t fit the image of the ‘typical blogger’. Everyone wants to be an influencer these days, including myself. People think its about having a huge following, getting heaps of likes on your pics and receiving the goodies sent to you by brands. But it is so much more than that to me.
For me its about spreading a message: Inspire, encourage, empower. Its about speaking out about my personal battles with depression and anxiety and being a voice to say you are worthy no matter how you look. The main thing is you need to find out what you want, who you are, what you stand for? Or do you just want the freebies?
I think we all have a duty of care to those around us, older or younger to empower them, to make them feel beautiful, to make them feel good enough, to make them feel worthy.
I am not a parent yet (I’ll write another blog on that) but I worry for the kids growing up in this millennial generation where there is so much focus on image rather than talent or skill. Where they live in a world that revolves around social media and being popular.
How can we reassure them that they are worthy, and beautiful/handsome?
My personal mission statement is to inspire, encourage and empower women to reveal their authentic selves. However I feel a call to support parents to empower their children.
I may not fit the 2019 mould of what a blogger is, but i am honest, authentic and raw. I will always share the good, the bad and the ugly side of my life as I know there are people out there who need to know it not all perfect pictures on Instagram.
Switch those words around from Am I worthy to I am worthy!
I would love to share the parental viewpoint of someone I class as a friend brought to me via the powers of social media, someone I look up to and aspire to be like and someone I believe (even if she doesn’t) to be an up and coming influencer in her own right! Faye Capp, mum to Spencer & Daisy, wife and fitness and health advocate and one of the most authentic accounts I follow on Instagram:
My friend Natalie has asked me to help her write a blog post about young girls in today’s society.
With so much influence directly coming from Social media we want girls to feel empowered and strong – yet we are showing them that if you look like a Kardashian you get further in life. (I’m saying that in jest obviously!) But this is the same society that encourages pink toys for girls and blue for boys (without even realising it!) and then Make up and dolls vs cars and building bricks.
I have heard parents first hand say “please don’t call my daughter beautiful, or pretty or princess” why is this? Where has it come from?
Surely, we as parents we need to build our children up and call them amazing, brilliant and beautiful. As they grow up they are going to have people tearing them down at every opportunity? Children at school age can be down right mean! I understand that there are more important things than being beautiful, but we all think that our own children are beautiful… and if I think my child is beautiful then I’m going to tell them all the time!
Girls grow up around make up and sparkly things, young girls want to be apart of all that and my daughter Daisy has seen me spritz, blend and enhance my face – why wouldn’t she want to copy?! Their innocence is allowing them to experiment freely and plaster their faces with splashes of glitter. It doesn’t mean I want her to grow up obsessed with her appearance and have no moral values. I want girls today to accept their own appearance and feel confident in themselves, but it’s something we have to nurture and build up as parents and role models.
Have you noticed that girls these days are missing the awkward phase of make up, they are all basically professional MUA’s by age 13 and looking more like 18 year olds than tweens! I think what I am trying to say is we need to focus on things like you are clever, you are strong, how independent of you, how creative, how strong, how great they are not just how beautiful they are.
I hope you enjoyed my first blog collaboration.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, this is a subject very close to our hearts. If you feel you need to talk about this subject at all please feel free to reach out, speak up or please to share this blog post, perhaps someone you know needs to read this?
Remember the words I AM WORTHY, we are all worthy!
Natalie & Faye
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